Desolation
by LadyKryptonite294
Summary: AU. Connor and Neasa look back on hellish times and realise life with Angel is heavenly indeed. CO-WRITTEN WITH TRUE ENGEL!


**CO-WRITTEN WITH TRUE ENGEL **

**Title:** Desolation

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Family/Hurt/Comfort

**Pairing:** Neasa/Connor

**Author notes:** Hey…This was thought up by request of my good friend Dee and the well appreciated use of her awesome character Neasa! …so be kind and please let me know what you think, comments are always welcomed…_just not too harsh_ :D

**Summary:** AU. Connor and Neasa look back on hellish times and realise life with Angel is heavenly indeed.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the Angel characters or worlds…unfortunately, they all belong to Joss Whedon, I also don't own Neasa, she belongs solely to **True Engel**…_a girl can dream can't she?_

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**Desolation**

"Conn! Wait for me I wont be long. I just need to shower." Neasa called after her brother who spun around in the doorway and smiled at her.

"Meet me later; my cell's broke though, thanks to the last demon battle."

"Well where are ya gunna be?" Neasa prompted.

"Dunno track me." Connor smiled and left. Neasa dropped onto the circular couch.

"Like that could ever happen."

Angel looked at her from where he stood against the weapons cabinet.

Outside Connor stopped dead, his super hearing had picked up on it too.

"What makes ya think you won't track him?" Angel sat on the couch next to her and she frowned.

"I hate that you two can hear so well, I can track him about two metres from where he is! It's not my thing, it never was." Neasa kicked the ground. "It was the same back there, ya know? Holtz would drop me in the middle of nowhere and expect me to find my way back. I never spoke to the bastard so he had no idea I was incapable. Not that he would have cared."

Angel pulled her to lean against his side and wrapped an arm about her. He chose to ignore her cussing this once. "I wouldn't call ya incapable baby."

Neasa exhaled. "I was, eventually I'd pick up Conn's scent and."

"See." Angel coaxed and Neasa tutted.

"Daddy, Conn found me!"

"You knew?" Connor appeared in the doorway and looked at his sister. "I was careful."

"Conn, ya killed everything around me, which could never happen, not there. I always made it back without having to fight anything alone!"

Connor sighed and made his way over, sitting beside her. "I was always worried you wouldn't make it back."

"I wouldn't have, ya can be sure of that! Bastard always did it when you weren't there though. I fuckin hated him." Neasa looked at Connor through narrowed eyes and he sighed again.

"Stop cussing Neasa!" Angel saved Connor from a response.

"Daddy, it was a shit thing to do, I was only a kid." Neasa punched Angel's leg "don't ya care?"

"Of course I care!" Angel snapped. "Ya should never have been there and of course you were a kid. You still are, you're my baby."

Neasa grinned at Connor. "Tell me what really happened, how much you really had to do to keep my path clear."

Connor smiled at her it was warm and his eyes were so full of love that Neasa's grin dropped to a smile and she pulled away from Angel to hug him instead. He wrapped his arms about her and she rested her head on his shoulder. A sigh escaped her and Connor was reminded of the oh so many times she had sighed with relief at seeing him.

"It's true." Connor said quietly, he looked at Angel. "I'd get back from wherever and she'd be gone. I'd usually say I was going to rest or anything really and then I'd set out. Ness was useless; she couldn't find her way out of a paper bag."

Neasa sat up indignantly then began to snigger. "Shit that is so true!"

"I know it is, well I did I guess I'd forgotten." Connor pushed her and she ended up against Angel again. "Sit with ya daddy dearest. I'll tell ya both a story."

Neasa snuggled into Angel's side and he kissed her hair as he wrapped his arm about her. She reached up, grabbing his fingers, a sign she was nervous. "Um this is gunna make me sound like a right useless wuss so be warned daddy."

"Calling him daddy makes ya sound like a wuss." Connor rolled his eyes. "You weren't a wuss you were…."

The darkness was ever lasting and foreboding as always, the sky a constant black void, no stars, no life just a black canvas, a sheet for the monsters to hide in.

There was no breeze to play through your hair or cool your skin against the ever present heat that was given from a non existent sun, the thick, moist heat that clung to every inch of your body, teasingly sticky and unsatisfying, but unchangeable nonetheless.

The young girl was crouched low, hidden well behind the carcass of one of the many dead things in this place, the smell no longer a distraction, she had lived among it too long to distinguish anything other that what she had known her entire life. She kept still, perfectly focused on keeping herself alive, he had told her to wait, wait for him to return, but deep down she knew that she was alone, he wasn't coming back for her, this was another of his tests, but she couldn't find it in her to hate him for it, all she knew was that this was how she had to live, how she would survive, it was necessary, she was becoming stronger, at least this is what he would tell her.

He had told her about the rise and fall of the sun back where he had come from, their real home, he had said on many occasion, but in this place it was difficult to distinguish sun rise from sun down, the sky was constantly dark despite night or day, but she always found a difference in the atmosphere, at night the air was thinner from the absence of the hidden suns uncomfortably masked rays. Right now she figured that it was early afternoon, the temperature was deceasing but the air still clung to her skin like a leech, slowing her movements, not that she needed them just yet, but she always liked to be prepared, ready for anything that would require her to defend for herself.

She contemplated her next move in her mind, she could either wait here as he had asked and await his return, allow him to lead her safely back to their refuge or accept the most probable notion that this _was_ a test and use her abilities to search out her family and make her way back alone.

Her heart was still, beating at a steady rhythm, her breathing the same. But that shard of fear slowly crept along the back of her neck, distorting her thoughts of reason.

She shifted on her heels, peering out to the distance, scanning her surroundings for any sign of life.

All clear.

She rose slightly as to get a better look over her barricade, satisfied that she could make it across to other side of the swamp without being noticed she took off at a fast pace, light on her feet, executing a perfected summersault up and over a pile of dead demon corpses. Continuing without falter, once on the other side, she came to a stop and paused behind a safe shelter she had made years before, catching her breath before her next attempt to track the rest of her family.

She took comfort in the feel of her blades safely stashed away up her sleeves, she wiped a filthy hand across her face, smearing the past weeks mud off of her brow, her matted hair firmly pushed back, not to distort her vision.

She readied for her next move, slipping from the entrance of her protection, she stood, sure nothing was watching and waited, her feet stood just apart, her hands limply at her side, but her senses heightened beyond that of a normal person.

She listened carefully to the noises, tuning out the almost hypnotic and familiar sounds of demons gathering in the distance, their constant growing normality in her everyday life. She leant her head to the side, sniffing the pungent air, trying not to choke on the smell of death as it caught in the back of her throat, but over that she picked up the familiar and prised scent of her brother. Her eyes shot open, picking up on his trail she set off on her hunt to find her family, in this wasteland of a place they were forced to call home.

Connor realising Neasa had picked up his scent moved forward again. His speed increasing as he caught the scent of something demonic in the near. His legs pumped beneath him, carrying his taut but small body as fast and as agile as he could, heading not away but towards the demons he could sense gathering around his completely _alone_ twin sister.

He came to a stop, only yards away from his sister, but far enough away to keep his presence unknown, both to her and the demons.

He spotted them straight away, snarling and growling ferociously in anticipation of their next kill, the murder of the girl who had caused masses of it's race's slaughter with her mindless antics that led them always into the path of her protector... The Destroyer. Not this time though, they knew she was alone, could tell by her lack of confidence.

Connor approached with ease, making as little noise as he could, keeping his sense sharp, ready to attack at any given moment.

He gripped his knuckles around the hilt of his blade attached to his forearm, feeling its metaphorical power surge through him, preparing his body for his soon to be battle against the herd of demons.

With his feet firmly positioned on top of a nearby boulder, he leaped high into the sky and came bounding down on top of the first demon, knocking it off its feet, using this to his advantage, he continued to roll with the momentum, his arm coming up from behind him, slicing the demons throat.

This got the rest of the herd's attention, but not before he'd carved through another two. Springing onto his feet now he knew time was of the essence and he wasted none of it.

Leaving the demons bodies on the ground he backtracked towards his sister with the intent of leading her away from the already decaying bodies.

Peering once again from the new heights he shook his head at the sight of Neasa having a tantrum.

Kicking the ground he could hear her cussing and he presumed he'd be able to even if he didn't have super hearing. Realising she was getting distressed now and that she still had a way to go he made his way a little closer.

Neasa had lost her brothers scent long ago and was so angry that she couldn't do this whole tracking thing. First the anger was at boiling point, but before long it abruptly turned into fear and panic, she couldn't help the eruption of her teenage turmoiled emotions as they bubbled to the surface, she kicked at the ground in frustration and the tears the burned her cheeks tainted with worry

Worry and fear for both herself and her brother.

She began ranting to herself, cussing every other word, venting her fear into something more satisfying…for her anyway.

At this moment in time, she felt so useless she couldn't care less if she brought unwanted attention to herself, her mind was cut off as she ploughed around in the gorge like terrain of this hellish place, simply wanting her brother more than anything.

Within moments she was exhausted from her previous outburst, she saw a still half living tree truck not far away and decided to collapse behind it, at least the protection would hold out until she could find the strength to find her brother.

Connor would have laughed but he had to get her back. He paused as she began to sob, curling up at the foot of a dead tree trunk

He was taken aback by her words and even with his super hearing he still wanted to hear her say it again. She didn't say it but she carved it down the tree trunk whilst she screamed every letter MOM.

Connor slipped across to his sister, not wanting to traumatise her any further, and annoyed that she would not feel like she had succeeded in tracking her way home. He trudged to her side and placed a calming hand on her shoulder as he whispered her name, coming down to her level.

"Ness...I'm here" He said only audible to his sister beside him, he took a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure he hadn't been tracked himself, once satisfied, he took a seat on the ground.

Neasa didn't acknowledge his presence at first, not wanting it to show just how happy she was to see him.

"I wanna go home." she placed her fingertips to his cheek; tentatively touching him just to make sure it was him, that he was really there.

"What you wrote mom for she won't save ya!" Connor looked at the carving and then at her. "Eat ya maybe."

Neasa jumped to her feet. "Fuck off; you don't even answer to your real name cos you're so far up that thing's ass!"

"That thing is my father!" Connor jumped up after her, grabbing her arm and pulling her to a stop.

"Then you and I are not fuckin twins cos he sure as hell isn't mine!"

"How can you even think about that thing as your father, he's killed so many!" Connor implored her to see sense. Neasa withdrew slightly at the cut of his words.

"He also ate a few French aristocrats, that's never a bad thing." Neasa grinned as Connor looked confused. "Never mind it was a joke. I forget you don't know about countries and shit like that."

"I know that thing is a monster and he's no father of mine!" Connor roared at her and she giggled.

"Touchy or what!" she sighed. "Well I tell ya this much bro. I wish he'd show up right now cos I'd be going with him, no doubt about it."

"What makes you think he'd want you?" Connor shook his head at her naivety.

"Course he'd want me ya fuckin idiot!" Connor screwed up his face at her answer. "I'm wantable!" Neasa added, receiving a roll of the eyes from her brother.

"Ness even I know that isn't a word. Wait!" Connor pulled Neasa to stand behind him

"Thought it had been quiet." Neasa removed a couple of blades.

"Ness..." Connor muttered, now noticing they were surrounded by demons, he felt Neasa shift a couple of blades out and that was never a good sign...for the enemy that is.

"Shut up and duck!" Neasa yelled, Connor's reflexes as sharp as ever allowing him to do just that, as one of Neasa's blades flew just millimetres above his head and inserted into the eye socket of the ugliest demon they had ever seen...and in this place that was saying something.

Connor made short work of each demon, he would have anyway but blinded it was always a bonus and he liked to make his sister feel useful.

Neasa watched him amazed at his speed and dexterity. He was brutal, no compassion, no remorse. Just a destroyer.

"What?" Connor looked at her as he strode over the last of his kills.

Neasa smiled sweetly. "Glad ya love me."

Connor flicked his eyes towards her as he walked passed. "What makes ya think I do." he smiled to himself as the silence indicated she was taking in what he'd said.

"Hey! Wait." she hurried after him and as she neared him he picked up speed

Connor sniggered to himself as Neasa started whining. "Come back, you have to love me. It's, it's ..."

"...twin law" Neasa blurted out at the lack of a better response. She started to cry and Connor rolled his eyes, slowing to a walk.

"C'mon course I love ya." he didn't look back but he held out his arm, within seconds her small hand rested in his seemingly much larger one

"Ya can stop crying now Ness." he raised an eyebrow at her and let go of her hand wrapping his arm about her instead and holding her close.

"I'll always love ya. You know that. Not even I can destroy that." his attempt at humour caused her to giggle.

"Retard!" Neasa snarked back, but she snuggled in close. He was the safest place in the world to her.

As their makeshift home and Holtz came into view, Connor glanced at Neasa and squeezed her. She reached up kissing his cheek and whispered.

"I love you"

Connor knew they were to be her last words until Holtz was out of the way again

They always were.

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Neasa was snuggled closer to her father, the memory of a time without him sending chills down her spine. She realised how her father made her feel safe the way Connor always had. But she also realised how she took it for granted. She looked up at him and smiled, he returned it aware of what was going through her mind.

"That's what I'm here for baby."

"Never for get how much I need you daddy cos if I end up in a hell hole again I'm gunna be well pissed off if ya don't come get me. I'd never survive now."

Angel looked at Connor, he hated that his son had hated him so much and hated that he hadn't been there when his kids needed him. "You would if you had Connor." His guilt showed and Connor smiled.

"Chill Dad that was in the past...this is now and I luv ya, even though you and Ness got a wuss and baby thing going"

"He'll baby you if ya want him to." Neasa sniggered and Connor rolled his eyes.

"Nah, I have a reputation to uphold can't be a fuckin wuss like you two." Connor sighed. "dad it's okay, honest. I get it. I do."

"Thanks son, but what is with you two and cussing?" Angel had never succeeded in completely discarding his children's habit of cussing, he sighed inwardly.

Connor smiled, his eyes full of warmth "Notice she's always had a mouth like a sewer."

"Hey!" Neasa pouted.

Connor's smile widened and Neasa glared at him.

"Wanna cuss don't ya?" Connor started laughing.

"Daddy, please, just this once let me Conn is really annoying me and if I don't I will lose ma cred for being a hard ass"

"Ness I've seen harder ice-cream. Go get in shower I'll wait for ya seeing as you wont be able to find me." Connor stopped laughing. "go on or I'm going."

Neasa nodded and got to her feet looking at him all the time as she moved nearer to the stairs. Connor shook his head.

"If ya say it you'll be in deep crap."

Neasa smiled sweetly at Angel. "Not be long daddy. Love you." she glanced at Connor again. "Fucking retard!"

"WUSS!" Connor shouted back to his sister laughing at the speed she disappeared, not wanting to face the wrath of her Daddy dearest.

Angel shook his head at his twins child like banter, things would never change.

Neasa smiled to herself, she would always love her brother and she took comfort in knowing he would always be there to find her. It was also good that now they'd found Angel he had a chance to be someone other than the destroyer.

Connor turned his attention back to Angel. "Funny what you bury in your subconscious. I always had Ness in the forefront of my mind. It was my priority from waking to going to sleep at night and even then..." he paused to contemplate his own words. "Her survival was everything to me."

Angel nodded and then cracked a grin as Connor started laughing. "What?"

"Well it's your job now, that's why I got complacent. I guess I started living." He patted Angel's shoulder. "You're doing okay dad. Ness is hard work. I'm really glad there were no guys over there though."

"Thanks, I think... Guys what guys?" Angel looked ill and Connor sniggered.

"Still like being a dad?"

Angel smiled. "Best thing in the world." he wrapped an arm around his son and was pleased when Connor rested his head on his shoulder. "Wouldn't give it up for the world."

There peaceful moment was shattered by the unmistakable sound of Neasa yelling along to Rock DJ as she showered.

"Sometimes wish she'd do the silent thing again." Connor muttered.

"No ya don't." Angel laughed.

"No I don't." Connor smiled, he wouldn't change his sister for anything and he wouldn't change his life now for anything. The grass was so definitely greener on this side of the portal.

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**Well? What did you think?**

**Me and Dee had so much fun writin this, i hope you enjoyed reading it :D**

**So go on make us even happier and leave a review :P**

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